I Hate How I Feel

How many times do you find yourself hating how you feel?

Depressed, grey, blah, unmotivated.


Anxious, stressed, frantic.


Annoyed, pissed off, irritated, short tempered. 

Maybe all at that same time. 

You’ve found your way here, so I imagine the answer is often. 

And you probably feel guilty for feeling this way, don’t you? I know I do sometimes. 

After all, you have it all, the marriage, the kids, the house, the car…… who are you to be ungrateful for everything you have? How DARE you feel this way? 

I am here to tell you that you are not alone. 

You are not ungrateful. 

You are not broken. 

How you feel is exactly how you need to feel in this moment. 

And it’s possible to feel better. 

In fact you can feel awesome. 

And you have already done the first step. 

You know how you don’t want to feel. 

Now you get to figure out how you do. 

I invite you to try out these steps, and see how they feel for you.

  1. Know how you don’t want to feel 

Knowing how you don’t want to feel is the perfect starting place for figuring out what’s next.  You are clear on your not this. 

  1. Identify how you do want to feel. 

How you do want to feel is likely a direct opposite experience to your not this. For example, if your not this is angry then you probably want to feel peaceful, or even joyous. If your not this is anxious, you probably want to feel calm or safe or in control. Does this make sense? Try it with your not this and see what you come up with. 

  1. Identify steps to cultivate that feeling 

It is possible to cultivate feelings like you would a garden, a little bit everyday. Say your not this is anxious and fretful, with a spinning, worried mind. Cool. You decide what you want is to feel calm. What kinds of things help you to feel that way? Walks outside? Music? Meditation? Journalling? Hugs? Excellent. 

4. Take baby steps everyday towards that feeling.

Now, set aside five or ten minutes a day and do those things. Go for a walk, journal, meditate, get a hug. Or even do them all.  Check in with yourself at the end of a week. How do you feel now? 

Healing is a process that starts first with the recognition that something sucks and you are ready for it to change. Congratulations.  Welcome to the healing journey ❤ 

Find me on instagram and share your not this with me, I love hearing from you. 

Published by Stephanie Renaud

I am a freelance writer, blogger and coach. I write about so many things, parenting, social justice issues, hope for the future, politics.... and my own life. I write regularly for Windsor Parent Magazine, and publish intermittently in other local and national publications. You can also find me online at Elephant Journal and RePeace.com. My views are my own.

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